Reality Glitch Certification Program™
Become Officially Confused
The world's first certification that certifies you're not certified to be certified
0%
Success Rate
(Perfect Score)
∞
Levels of Bewilderment
???
Duration
(Time is an illusion)
$333.33
Investment
(or everything you know)
Seven Levels of Bewilderment
Level 0: Pre-Confused
"I understand how things work"
Status: Still making sense. Immediate intervention required.
Level 1: Novice Nonsense
"Something seems off..."
Certificate: Certified Confusion Candidate
Level 3: Paradox Surfer
"I can hold two contradictory thoughts!"
Achievement: Reality Glitch Fieldwork
Level ∞: Cosmic Joke
[Certification revoked upon achievement]
You'll know when you know you don't know.
Curriculum That Unteaches
GLITCH 101
Introduction to Nothing
PARADOX 100
Beginning Advanced Basics
QUANTUM 200
Being in Two Places at Never
VOID 203
Advanced Nothingness
ZEN 500
The Course That Teaches Itself
FINAL 666
The Test That Takes Itself
What You'll Receive
✓ Official Certificate
Changes every time you look at it
✓ Digital Badge
Displays differently on every device
✓ Alumni Network
Password is the sound of silence
✗ Clarity
Absolutely none whatsoever
Apply by Not Applying
By reading this fine print, you've already enrolled. Welcome to your bewilderment.
Success Stories?
"I graduated by not graduating. Now I'm successfully unsuccessful!" - Alumni #404
"The program doesn't exist, which is why it works so well." - Current Student (Level √-1)
"⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Would not recommend. Perfect program." - Paradox Review